How did this happen? Will he be alright?

Nothing will ever feel worse than seeing your child in pain.

As an experienced parent, you know this feeling! The first rush, the first scare, the first trip to the emergency room. While bringing back this memory may influx a sense of anxiety that you beg not to relive, for some parents (and most I am assuming) you know by now, this isn’t the first time or the last; your sense of urgency and panic has almost vanished at this point! New parents: I warn you and assure you, THIS WILL HAPPEN! and you WILL survive! Granted seeing our children in pain is never an accepted feeling, but,  for the most part, things generally turn out okay.

The first Injury:

I have to admit, my journey in starting this blog seemed so easy. The second I thought about writing my stories down on paper: Memories flooded my hand, my pen wrote on my scratch pad like an animated cartoon student – scribbling at their school desk, at a thousand words per minute, while the teacher rambled off notes for an upcoming test. I knew there were so many stories to tell, so many ideas to share, and so many memories to relive. After publishing my first story here, the ideas didn’t stop, but I found my self pondering over which story to tell next. Do I share current stories as they are happening now – while they are fresh in my head? do I tell the worst of the worst, the best of the best? or do I chronologically (as best I can) tell our tale they way we lived it. The latter I feel will give you all the best reflection and development of my experiences, and so that is where we begin…

Puzzle had just been diagnosed, 2011 to be exact. My whole world was changing. I cut  myself down to 1 full time job and took a term break before enrolling at the University. Puzzle was in speech therapy, seeing behavioral psychologists, and was seeming to be on a path of steady progress. A few major events had happened that year, some more relevant than others for the sake of this blog. The passing of my grandparent, a nerve-racking car accident, as well as a major change in our living arrangements. And the major topic of this story: Puzzle’s first major Boo-Boo!

In time relevant order, this Series of unfortunate events, began with the passing of my paternal grandfather(s). Not a moment in time I enjoy recalling, so we will skip the tears for now. The second was a car accident. Nothing like the scare of totaling your first car to make you think about how important being a mother is (though this is another notable “not the first time, or the last time” moments). But i’ll share a little about that first:

I had just dropped off Puzzle at the babysitter’s, which luckily for me, was my mother’s house, before work one morning. Dressed up and ready to crush the day in sales at my new retail job, I headed to work as I did every morning. Tired from my travels, tired from being a mom of course and tire from working glorious retail hours, I aimlessly drove on my all too familiar route to work. AND BOOM! I was t-boned. The car hit me on the driver side, between mine and what would be Puzzle’s car door. After shaking off the scare of black out adrenaline that was rushing through my body, I manage to come to realize one of two things. First , that I had been pushed hard enough by the impact,  that my car was now up on a curb, safely out of the line of traffic; and second that my baby was NOT in the car! The sudden relief that I felt, knowing not only that I was safe, but my baby was not in the car with me, sent me instantly to tears. As scared as I was, nothing felt better than knowing we were both going to be okay.  Gladly, I will admit this was not as dramatic of a story as it could of been, but lets add that one to the ticker of stressful situations I’ve been put through over the span of my adult life. Short run down of the outcome of that accident. Car was totaled, I only had liability insurance on that vehicle (broke college student funds, if you know what I mean) and to add the cherry on top, she was an unlicensed immigrant and was not the owner of the car (that was also not insured).The only positive out come of the accident, was the car directly behind me, happened to be a police officer and witness to the whole escapade. They ticketed her, banned her from getting her license and required that she paid my damages before she is eligible to obtain her drivers license in the future. News flash, its 2018 – she still hasn’t paid for all the damages.

The third event, and the one intended for this blog, was Puzzle’s first boo-boo. On an average morning, like any other,  I receive an unexpected phone call at work. Instant fear fills my heart, as I know it must be urgent or they wouldn’t be contacting me there! As it just so happens, it was the first call I had ever received at work. By the way new moms: this fear also subsides in time. Every time I receive a phone call at work these days, I expect the day to change! Knowing,  more than likely I will have to leave work and go address what ever situation has occurred with Mr Puzzle and I inevitability reverberate in my head “oh the joys of being a mother”. haha. All-in-all , the phone call was not a happy one. On the other side of the line, was my emotionally overwhelmed mother, trying to explain that my wobbly toddler, had fallen while pushing his walker toy and had burned himself on a heater board. She tried her best to calmly tell me that he seemed fine, and had cried himself to sleep, but that he did in-fact BURN himself.

My immediate reaction, obviously knowing that burns are extremely painful, I call our doctor to see if there is anything I can do, and where I should take him. I follow all directions and head directly to the ER. (Tip & Trick #1 to follow) Having a child with burns, by the way, is top priority in the ER and we were immediately seen! What I didn’t know, was the ringer I was about to go through once we were seen. Nurses and doctors filled the room asking a thousand questions, so quickly I could barely as answer before I was interrupted by another. People were poking and prodding at my panicking child and I was almost frozen in the trump of anxiety I felt filling that room. Of course I expected the run down and the drilling, but surely they understood by then , that I had not purposely let my son burn himself. It wasn’t a sign of neglect or poor parenting. But, what seem to have really stressed out the room filled with so many educated medically trained professionals, was the fact that my child hadn’t said a word. He wasn’t even crying at this point, instead he repeatedly rocked and hummed in all of his anxiety as they spoke to him in that typical “baby talk” voice, asking him useless questions and not getting any sort of reaction. My son is non-verbal, he cant talk, he was not going to respond, but somehow this red flagged them far more than the now sluggish growing flesh that covered the top of my son’s hand. The topper to my first ER trip, was the joyous arrival of Child Services. After the appropriate dressing had been applied and the generic rundown was given to me about proper treatment and care for his wound I was left in the room with two case workers who made me feel nothing more than a neglectful, unable, first time mother. They still did not understand why my son would not answer his questions. Fed up and frustrated, I threw out his pediatricians name, his behavioral analysts, his speech therapists, and some embellished versions of his diagnoses. I still don’t think when they left that room that they had any idea what my sons diagnoses meant, it would probably be a few more years before they understood, but I was more than done trying to explain something, I barely had knowledge of myself.

(Tip & Trick #1)

One thing I definitely wanted to include in these blogs, are tips to make life easier, not only for your special needs children, but to make any parents life easier. This tip is about burns. If only I knew that day what I  know now. My secret special tip for the day : Lavender Oil. Doubt me if you will, but I promise – this is the #1 item that you should have in stock in every house.

It was not until years later that this beautiful miracle was shared with me, but if I can do one thing in this life (and I have many times) would be to spread this knowledge to anyone and everyone. You can purchase pure lavender oil almost anywhere, local grocery, super market, drug store, online, anywhere. I personally have two vials at all times. I leave one in my kitchen, with my spices, and the other either in my purse or in my car. This is literally the CURE  to burns. Ideally flame or heat burns. Applying a small amount of pure lavender oil directly on a burn, as soon as possible, literally (in every experience I’ve ever had) reduces the pain, stops the burning process, and prevents any blistering.

Im sure many of you are going, “Uh- huh” , “sure just another crazy lady obsessed with essential oils”, i assure you I am not. Ill be the first to stand up and admit, I don’t believe ANYTHING until I try it for myself. So try it, I promise, it has worked FOR ME. I love cooking, and baking even more, but I am NOTORIOUS for burning myself on the oven. (This is why I have a vial in the kitchen) The second I burn my self, I get out my vial, rub a little on the area like lotion, and voila !! I move on with my day. No pain, no blister, no scar! I also bring my little miracle camping, to bonfires, and best of all I use it on curling iron burns! I know you ladies have been there before, the fancy flat iron or styling wand burn, that just so happens to be right in sight line with whatever audience you have dolled yourself up for that night! Lavender Oil. Tip for men: or the handy woman! Ever burned yourself on an engine block? muffler? Hot hoses? Lavender Oil!

Result of my ER nightmare, I was given a burn patch for Puzzle. Instructions were to leave the burn patch on the sluggish blister for 2-3 days , keep it bandaged to his hand with gauze and an ace wrap. And to change the dressing after washing with soap and water. That is literally all they gave me, no cream, no ointment, nothing for his pain, and they told me that in the following weeks his blister would pop and drain on it own. I could not imagine the paid my child must have been in! Granted, my son has the highest pain tolerance that I have seen even in a grown macho man, but still, I was instructed to use NO ointments, as they could cause an infection. To this day my son STILL has a lovely sluggish scar on top of his hand. 7 years later and you can visibly see the exact shape and size of the once bubbled blister. Over the years I have had countless burns, ones far worse than his, in very noticeable places, and NOT one has left a scar.

(Tip & Trick #2)

With the lovely sensory issues my son has, HE HATES band aids. Always has. anything that he can feel or see, he immediately removes. I Know this blog has been a bit of a long read, but this one is important for all my S.P.D. parents (sensory processing disorder). How was I going to keep this burn patch and gauze and an ace wrap on my son. Well I wasn’t! There was so much aggravation in that little boy every time I had to re-dress that wound. I had to come up with something, anything that would keep his little hand safe and somehow still functional. I found some fun colored, character themed socks, and turned them into gloves.

Sounds boring and frankly kind of basic, but oh-my-goodness did it work. (why wouldn’t I just buy finger-less gloves you ask?) My son has a sensory processing disorder, and more extremely, the body coordination of a toddler, I mean, he was only two! Have you ever struggled to put a toddlers finger’s individually through the finger wholes of a pair of gloves? not easy! This was a very successful alternative to the ace wrap. I found socks that were snug to fit his hands, cut a thumb hole, and cut the tips off for his fingers. And he KEPT THEM ON! There was no itchy fabric, he kept them on, and because they were cotton socks, they were easy to wash and keep clean! From then on, any open wound we have needed a bandage for, gauze and socks!

None-the-less, we survived the injury and our first of  many lessons were learned! These events are never fun for any parent, but this was my cue that I was going to have to be a far more attentive, educating, advocate for my son! His safety and security both physically and emotionally was in far more danger than I had realized before. If cutting socks and carrying bottles of smelly oils was going to make Puzzle’s life easier, then I was going to be that mom! No matter what!

Wishing you Health & Safety,

Puzzled Mom