I am an Autism mom.

What exactly does that mean? Is that even a real thing? Why would you call yourself an Autism mom?

I am an Autism mom, because I have altered and changed my life in EVERY way possible to make sure that my child (with Autism) can live the happiest, fullest life that he deserves.

My Story: 

I moved back to the city, when I graduated high-school. 18 years old, not a clue in the world what i wanted in life, let alone how to get there. I got a barista job, enrolled in courses at the local community college and began my journey to adulthood. Half way through my first Associates Degree and a couple relationships later, I was pregnant.

Oops… not exactly ideal. Tsk Tsk …I know.

20 years old , living in the city, working, going to school, splitting rent and dancing at the local clubs every weekend. Parenthood was furthest from my mind. I was selfish. Far more than greed, or attitude, but I truly lived my life doing everything in my power to better myself. Not really a bad thing as I saw it , but I truly had NO desire in the world to put anyone in front of my dreams. My choices, My lifestyle, whatever I wanted I made it happen. Hence, I was selfish, I was going to be the best me – for me , that I could.

My gyno used to tell me that pregnancy was something that would have to be planned, when I was ready, and it may not be easy. My ovulation cycle was (is) so abnormal that supposedly my cervix may not “line” correctly, in order to carry a child.  TMI ?! Probably. But hey, its a story about me right?! Needless to say my monthly visit from the infamous Aunt Flow didn’t (and doesn’t) come very often. In some cases I didn’t have “periods” for years. Being the teenager I was, I had been in what I considered a “long-term” relationship for over a year and we were openly not using alternative methods of pregnancy prevention; ie no birth control… oops again!

The relationship was doomed to fail, as most are at that age, and it did. Half way though my pregnancy we decided that life together was far more stressful than was good for either of us. Few months later, a beautiful baby boy! Happy and healthy as could be! I could not have been more thankful for his 7 lbs weight and his perfection of health, since my pregnancy was far less glorifying than the image I may have painted here. I could not eat 90% of my pregnancy. Lost my job because I sent so much time hugging the porcelain thrown. I actually managed to lose 23 pounds during my pregnancy. Scary, but so worth it. I know had a beautiful life in my possession that I had created, I carried for 9 full months and he was perfectly healthy! For the sake of my blog, his name is Puzzle.

Puzzle is now 8 years old, 9 in March. Wow how the time flies!

My wonderful bundle of joy spent many of his first years being passed from baby sitter to baby sitter. I am not including this part of the story to down myself or receive judgement, believe me if i could go back and if I had the option to, I would have loved to be a stay at home mom. Truth be told, Ill never be a stay at home mom. “Selfish” remember, I love working and I love being busy. Not only was I still finishing my two years at the community college, but I had gotten another full time retail job, in order to manage now being a single mom, in a very expensive city. So while most would not consider my a “bad” mom, I definitely did not spend a lot of his first year with my son. I  did however spend enough time with him to notice that he had extremely excelled in some milestones, but was falling behind in others.

Puzzle was a very easy baby. He slept through the night, he ate regularly (and ate a lot) and generally was a happy, playful baby. He crawled early, walked early and every milestone seemed above average. Not bad (patting my self on the back) and not surprised as I apparently was pretty advance myself in life. What I mean by that is I too walked early, talked early, always excelled in school , etc. It wasn’t until my sons vocabulary started falling behind that I worried.

The average 12-18 month year old can only say a few words. Mama, dada, ball, juice, no, elmo. Puzzle had mastered all of these at that time, so no worries right? Wrong! At about 18 months I began hearing fewer and fewer of those words, and definitely was hearing any new ones. I would try and try to get him to repeat word I knew he should know, but nothing. And even more so, his frustration began to grow the more I pushed. Puzzled beyond belief, but educated as I was, I made an appointment with his pediatrician. Amazing woman by the way, I couldn’t have asked for better support from a low income doctor, who also happened to be by OBGYN and my PCP. I told her my concerns and she immediately recommended me to a behavioral psychologist.

Puzzle was diagnosed with Autism. He had a receptive/expressive language disorder and a minor sensory processing disorder. I somehow, was not surprised. And so began my life as an Autism mom. Several tests were ordered, signed up for speech therapy, and I began my research. First and foremost I changed my major in college. I had now transferred to a 4 year University and would be studying Psychology, with a focus in social sciences. I was bound and determined to learn as much as I could about my son . I was going to be the best Autism mom I could be.

My journey was just beginning and life as i knew if would change forever.

And I couldn’t have been happier. But I knew it wouldn’t be easy.

There is more to my story …and I hope you stick around to find out how I did it and how you can too.

Wishing you all happiness,

Puzzled Mom